It has been a small forever since I last sat down and even began to share the details of our journey. We have forgone many comforts in this new land, but have been richly provided for through this incredible new community we have grown to love, as well as the Father's generous hand!
Each time I return home, there is a newer appreciation for being surrounded by the comfort of things I've always known. My family, my friends, streets I know, my favorite restaurants. I think I may have only driven into the city on 2-3 seperate occasions, and each time have been lost or turned around. Even though I have not been able to venture out into the metropolitan Orlando, I have been able to venture into many homes of some of the most loving and generous people I've ever known.
When I first came to Clermont, I cried out, journaled, & shared with friends how lonely I was- how isolated I felt. How I longed for a community like I'd never known-how I needed a support system, friends to lean on and love on! And although my community back home has transformed, some falling away, and others drawing closer, God has opened my eyes to a community that I had always dreamed existed, but had never truly experienced.
During our past two years, I can not begin to list, nor remember, the amount of repossesion letters we have received for vehicles, how many times our water or power have been cut off, the amount of times our cupboards have been bare, or the dollars added to our credit card for the necessity of groceries and gas. During these trying times, we have repeatedly been questionned about the authenticity of God's calling- as if His people are not given the opportunity to 'consider it all joy'! We have listened to continuous pleads for our return home, and many times had the desire ourselves. But as frustrating as a situation might have come, as broken as our hearts often were for home, as lonely as we might have felt, and as empty as our pocketbooks grew, we never heard God tell us the time had come...until now.
The craziest thing about God's timing is that it isn't ours, and it doesn't always make sense to us. Our family was just now truly getting the feel for Clermont. Jayde was settling into school and doing well, I was looking for a house, Adam was searching out school's to further his career. But, I had been in prayer about what our next step was to be- where did God want us now. What did He want us to focus on. God came to Adam in the night...just like He had come to me before. Except this time, the directions were to go home. God told Adam our time was up.
Adam restled with this as much as the initial call to come...why now? why did He call us here to begin with? God quickly reminded Adam that had He told Adam He was moving us here for 2 years, taking everything from us, stripping us to our bare bones-he would never have agreed to come. Adam's response, "God, you're right"...and of course He is. I must confess, I would not have agreed to come either..which is why we don't have insight God has- we can't comprehend it.
I thought I was surrendered to God. I thought I lived by faith. I thought I truly trusted Him for my provision. And I did; as much as I could at the time. But in hindsight, I didn't have a clue what that looked like. It took God removing every fathomable comfort we had, and didn't even know we had, to force us to examine who we were as stewards of our family, our finances, and our faith. I could never have learned these things staying in the comfort of the land I've always known. It took me being tossed into the wilderness to truly understand who I am in God, who I am to God, and who I am for God.
God called us to Clermont. That I do not doubt for a New York minute. But what we thought God had planned for us and what He actually had planned were, not so horribly different, just unexpected. I'm glad we were obedient. I'm glad we made this move.
I look forward to coming home, which we will do in June. But I must say that it is so bittersweet. As much as I long to be home, I have grown to love this community. The friends God has blessed me with I have grown to love like friends I've known for years, some, even my entire life. I have been witness to a Christ-centered community that has gone beyond what would have ever been required. We have not only been blessed through material provision, but we have been enriched spiritually with fertilizer so strong it can only be holy! To have people constantly show you Christ's love, mercy, grace, understanding, provision and friendship- well, I'm not sure I'll ever be able to find the words to describe it!
I pray I am able to bring back what I have learned from my friends here. I pray I am able to give to Birmingham what Clermont has given to me. Until then, I will remain present and continue to soak up the time I have left. As much as I love it here, I know there truly is no place like home!
